Here is a little taste of my new book REDEEMED BY A REBEL. For one lucky commentor, I have a t-shirt with the cover on it, size 2x. So have some fun and tell me what you think of the excerpt. Does it make you want to read more or put the book down and forget it? Be honest. I can take it.
He’d been dead. Deader than a doornail in a rotted-out door. Becky Finnegan remembered finding the body splayed across the rocks like the annual sacrifice to some unknown god. Heck, that wasn’t something she was likely to ever forget. She’d had to leave him to collect her no good, drunkard father, Billy, from The Gem where he spent all the gold she worked her butt off to get.
She’d lied to Billy once again, only given him part of their gold. If she gave him all of it, like he wanted, nothing would be left to buy food or the pans and other equipment she needed to work their claim. And then there’d be no gold for him to go drown his sorrows. Sorrows that were her fault, according to him, since Becky killed her Ma by getting born. And then he’d beat her and she wouldn’t be able to work so there’d be no gold and the cycle would start again. Better to lie to him.
Resigned, she grabbed the mule’s bridle. Buster snorted at the small jerk she gave the gear as she started walking downstream along the narrow path that followed the creek. She’d made this path, going back and forth to their claim on a daily basis. After collecting Billy from The Gem, after he’d spent another night drowning his sorrows. Better there than at their campsite where he’d just complain and then beat her for the hell of it.
She and her father, Billy, originally came from the coal mines of West Virginia. Some said they were rebels because West Virginia was in the south during the War of Northern Aggression. But that was so long ago and there’d been many, many stops along the way. Becky barely remembered the place anymore. She supposed the only reason she didn’t forget it altogether was because she’d lived there with Grandma Bess. Those were the memories she liked to remember. Grandma Bess was so good to her, but then she had to go and die. Then there was just Billy and new place after new place.
Every time she hoped this might be the spot, the one where they could put down roots. But it never was. Billy leached the goodwill from the townsfolk until there was none left and they had to move on.
She’d gotten lucky with her education. One of the ladies she worked for took pity on her and taught her to read, write and speak so she was able to get better jobs as time went on. But not good enough to keep Billy supplied which was why she spent all day in the cold river panning for whatever gold, flake or nugget, she could find.
She went into The Gem and saw Billy, face down on one of the tables next to the door.
“Hi, just came to get Billy,” she said to the man behind the bar.
“Ah, if it isn’t Miss Finnegan. Where are your bruises Becky? Guess Billy’s been keeping his fists to himself lately.” Al Swearengen, owner of The Gem and procurer of flesh, said from in front of his second floor office.
“No thanks to you and all the whiskey he downs here,” she said. There was a running dialogue that she had with Al, every time she picked up Billy.
“Thanks for that. I love the gold Billy spends here every night. He almost single-handedly keeps me in business.”
She rolled her eyes and looked over at Billy, wondering if she really could be related to the reprobate. She’d get the barkeep to load him on the mule and then, when they got back to camp, she’d untie him and let him slip to the ground. She used to try holding him up, to slow his fall, but too many times, she’d ended up trapped beneath him until she could shove his heavy body off her. Totally ignorant of the whole situation, he blissfully slept off the effects of his alcohol fueled stupor.
There’d been just as many times she left him at The Gem and let them deal with his sorry ass..
“I’ll see his body gets taken care of,” said the barkeep. “In the meantime you get your father and get out. I keep telling you, this ain’t no place for a girl like you to be seen.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Dan,” said Al looking dapper in his black three piece pinstriped suit. He wore no tie and his shirt was open at the collar. Becky craned her neck to look upward at him. “We could give her a job that’s a lot easier than working that claim. Wouldn’t you like that Becky? No more standing in the cold river. You’d be flat on your back, but you’d be warm.”
He leaned on the hand rail of the second floor walkway. The small porch like structure went along the whole back of the building, all of the doors to the whores rooms were off of it and visible from the bar where the barkeep could keep track of the comings and goings of the men from the rooms.
“Not today, Mr. Swearengen, but I’ll be sure and keep your offer in mind.” She hoped the sarcasm came through in her voice.
Swearengen laughed. A great rumble from deep in his chest. “You do that. Help her load Billy on to her mule,” he said to the barkeep then he turned away and went back into his office. “See you tomorrow, Becky,” he called over his shoulder.
She nodded, then looked at the fancy women lounging around the room in varying states of undress and silently agreed with Dan. She should get out. She didn’t understand how they could do what they did. She’d rather work day and night in the creek than let any man with a dollar in his pocket touch her in that way.
Sounds like an exciting book. I’m guessing he wasn’t really dead, just mostly dead. 🙂
Melissa
daringzoey at yahoo.com
Thanks Melissa. I hope readers think it’s an exciting read.
I am definitely intrigued. I’m also a little confused about who she’d found dead, and then why he wasn’t mentioned again. I love the glimpse you’ve given us of Becky, but I think ‘showing’ us the details about her that are mentioned in the first few paragraphs might be more effective. If you start with action and sprinkle in those character traits and background details, it would draw me in more. However, it sounds like an awesome story. Kudos!
Thanks Alicia. You make good points.
I love the feel of it and the banter you’ve created. That alone makes it a read worth checking out. But like I told you the other day, you wrote it, and you’ve got an amazing gift! 🙂 Great job, honey!
You’re so sweet. I’m glad you like my books. I like yours, too.
Thanks, Cindy! I’m glad you do. A lot of the time I wonder if I’m only writing for a select few people- but then I remember that even if I am that it’s more people than just myself. 🙂
Interested in reading more
bn100candg at hotmail dot com
Thanks for stopping by.
Nice work, Cindy! I could picture the setting and feel her shame, her disgust and her determination. Your description of the girl’s father was vivid and believable. I’m wondering if you might begin the story showing the bar battle, the drunken insults, the mocking witnesses, etc., rather than telling about it. Nice work. I’ve read only a couple of books about the gold rush and would be interested in more. Congrats and good luck.
Thanks for your comments.
Very magnetic excerpt, Cindy. I love the way Becky and her louse of a father are portrayed. I do wish to have known more about the dead man… that in itself is a hook. I’d like to know how her story unfolds. Nice writing, Cindy! Wishing you success with it.