Excerpt from Gnome for the Holidays by Jennifer Zane

Welcome, my friend Jennifer Zane to my blog today. Jennifer will be giving away one of her ebooks (winners choice) to one lucky commentor today, so be sure to leave her a comment.

Thanks, Cynthia for having me here today! I was at one of the big box hardware stores last month—before Halloween, mind you, and all, ALL of the Christmas decorations were out. Now, a week before Thanksgiving, I drive around and see more holiday lights up every day. Needless to say, no matter where you live in the US, it seems Christmas is starting earlier and earlier. (All those election ads on TV- the only thing positive about them is they delayed the inevitable onslaught of holiday commercials by at least a week!)

Since everyone is getting into the holiday spirit now (forget Thanksgiving!), I think my new book release is right on time. Gnome For The Holidays is the third book in the Gnome Novel Series. Some of the same great characters make a return appearance—yes, Goldie and her meddling, for a holiday story of humor and matchmaking.

I hope your holiday season is wonderful—no matter when it starts for you.
Jennifer Zane

Here is an excerpt from Gnome For The Holidays, on sale now at Amazon and AllRomanceEbooks.com.

“MeMe Hardy. It’s been too long!” Goldie called to me as I stomped my boots. She was the owner of Goldilocks, the local, and only, adult store in town. She’d opened it well before I was born and it was practically a historic landmark, although I’m sure Goldie wouldn’t appreciate that description. It sold anything and everything sex related, from condoms to crotchless panties to fingertip vibrators. Even in a town of less than thirty thousand, business boomed.

I winced at the childhood nickname. When I turned eighteen and went away to college in California, I was able to shed that moniker and take on my given name, Emma. But there were a few die-hards in town still that remembered me when I was three and couldn’t say my own name right. I’d been back in town six years and was pushing thirty, but I’d still be MeMe to some. My mother, my aunt Sissy, a silly name in its own right, and Goldie.

“Sorry I’m late,” I tell Goldie and Violet, both behind the counter, piles of what looked like lingerie spread out before them. I pulled my knit cap from my head and tucked my blond hair behind my ears, taming the static out of it.

My friend Violet looked at me trying not to laugh and mouthed, “MeMe?”

I rolled my eyes at her. “I got stuck behind a snow plow.”

Goldie nodded as she took her glasses off her nose and let them dangle over her ample bosom by a sparkly, rhinestone covered chain about her neck. “That’s the safest place to be on a day like this. What can I get for you today?” Goldie looked me over, as if by looking at me she could guess just what I needed. “A new bra.”

Oh, great. She could see gravity setting in through my heavy winter coat.

She rubbed her chin. “No, you’re here for a vibrator.”

I could feel my cheeks heat at her words but I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Nope,” I answered as I shook my head, leaving her hanging. Talking vibrators with Goldie, who was friendly with my mom, was just about as bad as talking about it with my mom herself. Not that the vibrator in my bedside stand couldn’t use an update, or at least new batteries, but I wasn’t planning on telling her that.

“No vibrator for me today, Goldie. Thanks though.” I smiled brightly.

“Well, just give me a call when you’re ready and I’ll pick out a top of the line model for you. You know,” she waggled her eyebrows and twirled her finger in the air, “the one that has that spinning middle.”

My mouth fell open at the thought. I wasn’t sure if I should be mortified or intrigued at the very idea.

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